When You Don’t Know What to Say

Sometimes it simply takes time to process. Sometimes you just aren’t ready to come home from the mission field and immediately write about all you saw, felt, and experienced. Sometimes you just don’t know what to say to people because there is so unbelievably much to say and you just don’t know where to begin.

When I got home from Nicaragua two weeks ago, I knew I needed to blog immediately. God had accomplished this unbelievable goal that needed to be celebrated. We had paid off the land in Nicaragua an entire month early in a way that only could be described as being “a God thing,” and gave Him so much glory. We should be celebrating! But honestly, what I felt was a sense of urgency to “get started,” time is limited and there is much to be done, and such a sadness to leave. How do you explain all of that emotional ball of yarn to someone? So finally, after much “processing” and a lot of praying here I am.

Excitement doesn’t even begin to cover my feelings as when we signed all the paperwork, wrote the check, and jumped in the van to “receive” the land from the previous owner’s attorney. Project Samuel Latin America was finally a reality! When we got out of the car, I looked across the fence at about 15 sets of gorgeous brown eyes blinking, expectantly, at me. My heart swelled (as did the tears in my eyes) and I immediately felt all of this at once: “Discipleship,” “Hope,” “I need to start NOW,” “There is so to be done,” “Happiness,” “I can’t wait to pray with them, and help them understand who Jesus is and that He is REAL,” and, “I miss them so much already!” My heart was just pulled in all different directions. Those big, blinking eyes have names and stories and need love and need to know that Jesus isn’t this idea or concept that isn’t real, but that He is alive and breathing life into them every single day!

I thank each and everyone of you for your prayers, and I ask that you continue in them, but to also add Patricia, Alejandra, Fabian, Julian, Emily, Gloria, Chello, Heme, Henessay, Jessica, Juan, Haiti, Natalie, Anna, and Fernanda to them. I ask that you pray for patience for Chris and I, and the entire RFC Ministries team, as we are getting things in order to move there full time. I ask that you pray for the well that needs to be drilled, and for construction that needs to begin. Lastly, I ask that you pray for this “ball of yarn” that is my heart. Thank you all for your support and I pray that you are blessed beyond what you could ever imagine.

-Amanda